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I knew they got dolled up, but this is ridiculous

January 15, 2007

Yesterday morning I read this article on Nipple covers, hair and other red carpet secrets. I really had no idea. I mean, I knew that many went to great lengths to get dressed up for the Oscars and other such awards shows — but I had no idea at all that it was like this: a “body-enhancing airbrush tan,” which adds muscle definition (as well as, of course, tan-ness) where there is none; botox, “which paralyzes overactive glands to temporaily stop sweating”; and hairnet-enclosed piles of hair clippings, which are stuffed into chignons and other updos, in order to give the illusion of extra volume.

Are these not the most insane activities you’ve ever heard of? Makes me feel not so bad for trying on, oh, I dunno, three jackets before I go out. At any rate: anyone who has ever felt inferior compared to the beauty of those who walk the red carpet should read the linked article above — it really puts the lie to how physically perfect so many of these celebrities seem.

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