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News Roundup

May 20, 2008

On Monday, the Chicago Tribune reported on the wreck of a truck on Interstate 80 that was hauling 20,000 pounds of Oreos. Here is a link to the story—and here’s an excerpt:

Several lanes of Interstate Highway 80 were shut down for hours overnight after a truck hauling Oreos crashed into a median, spilling tons of the chocolate cookies across the highway, police said.

The crash occurred at about 3:40 a.m. Monday on I-80 just east of Morris, said Master Sgt. Brian Mahoney of the Illinois State Police.

The bolding is mine, and here’s why: Imagine if you were high—I mean baked out of your mind—at 3:40 in the morning, driving down I-80, and you are consumed by an all-consuming munchies whose hunger seems to gnaw at the very fabric of the cosmos—

—and then, like a gift from the universe, or like somehow winning both (both!) Showcases on The Price Is Right (by coming within $250 of your opponent’s Actual Retail Price, naturally), a truck jackknifes in front of you, spilling black-and-white gold like manna from Heaven.

Imagine!

***

More seriously, I take back what I said about West Virginia being the most racist state in the nation. Kentucky is.

Charles M. Blow had a great op-ed in the Times on Saturday about Appalachia, and how it relates to the presidential campaign. Dig it here. It contains this fantastic sentence:

So, when [H. Clinton] stops casting the nomination as a standoff between the Dukes of Hazzard and the Huxtables and accepts the outcome as a fait accompli, the party can unite, and there will be a better sense as to which states are in play.

Finally: Obama’s daughters are cute as hell. That’s what we need in the White House.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    May 21, 2008 3:48 pm

    man, this reminds me that back in college i used to watch bob and his buxom babes all the time, showcasing the hell out of trips to aruba and washer and dryer sets and 25 inch color tvs. i watched the p.i.r. so much that at least twice maybe three times a week i’d nail both showcases withing 50 bucks. the key was knowing the price of pick-ups, speed boasts and dining room tables. any rate, sort of related to the image of being baked and coming across loads of chocolate and cream in the middle of the road in relation to mr. barker’s show, check this out:

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