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In the future

June 25, 2008

In the future, every goddamn thing on the face of this planet will be classifiable under one of four categories: luxury, artisan, organic, or gourmet. Case in point: This fucking ice cream truck, which as of today is plying the streets of SoHo with its overpriced, precious wares.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. ClatieK permalink
    June 26, 2008 12:46 am

    Mmm, artisan…my favorite. Marketableicious.

  2. Sarah permalink
    June 26, 2008 9:09 pm

    I’m reserving judgment until I see this truck and hear whether it plays the same serial-killer-encounter-is-imminent music that the regular trucks play.

  3. Laura permalink
    June 27, 2008 3:00 am

    I’m going to have to step in and defend the honor of Van Leeuwen Artisan* Ice Cream. The guy who started it is a college friend of my brother’s. My brother also consulted on the development of the flavors, which is how you know they’re good (I can’t praise his cooking highly enough, and I could go on about the home-cured tuna with shiso and mizuna salad he served tonight…)

    More to the point, I have to take issue with your accusation that it’s overpriced–apparently soft serve (made from powdered milk and substances probably only known to Ferran Adria and Grant Achatz) is $3 for a small portion, while Van Leeuwen’s ice cream, which has 18 percent butterfat–twice what Haagen-Dasz has–is only $.50 more. Which, if you consider the cost of gas, is a bargain for transporting pistachios from Mount Etna.

    So while I do agree that those four terms are overused, I think your choice of target is misguided. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

    *Yes, I know it should be “Artisanal”

  4. Sully permalink
    June 27, 2008 6:32 pm

    No kidding. You used to love the ice cream truck! Someone needs to pack their bags to hatertown! (you know you do live in one of the most expensive places in the world. I bet you’re just pissed they didn’t have any bomb pops). We have an ice cream truck. It’s all sledded out with chrome rims and a high hat horn. The guy who drives it looks like Big Perm!

  5. Anonymous permalink
    June 28, 2008 4:06 am

    My favorite thing about our neighborhood ice-cream truck: the tatoos laced with LSD. Wow, what a surprise that was… you ain’t seen nothin until you’ve seen a gang of 9 year olds blasted on acid. What a summer! Indeed, that was the summer I wrote The Bliss Factory. Blue skies!

  6. Jen permalink
    June 30, 2008 11:13 pm

    So, will steam come out of your ears when you read about the Dessert Truck ( you can get GOAT CHEESE cheesecake!

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